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It's been awhile! Oops. Blah blah blah, OCD sucks, I'm working on it, and I'm not ready to talk about it.*
But in the meantime! I've been:
( voraciously ripping my way through Campaign 1 of Critical Role )
( trying out various craft projects )
( working my way through Rebels )
( finishing Learning Curve )
( starting my next project )
Anyways. I also wanted to add. I think I sort of spent some time hesitating to come back into fandom just because -- well, it can be so exhausting, reading and commenting and reccing and the like. I even feel guilty saying that, because of course I know that commenting and participating in fandom isn't as exhausting as actually creating content, but it is a very different kind of energy, a more extroverted kind of energy, and that is exhausting for me. Worth it, rewarding, enjoyable -- but utterly exhausting. I want to be able to participate in fandom, to give back to content creators, but I'm also working very hard on myself right now (that OCD I mentioned earlier), and there's just so very much in life to do.
So I guess the point is, just like my exercises in therapy, I'm dipping my feet into the pool very slowly.
*What does OCD have to do with my participation in fandom? I'm incredibly anxious and fixated on my glasses, which makes reading difficult sometimes. That's all I'm going to say because I'm worried if I reread this later, it will be triggering for me. EDIT: Oh yeah, and also, the perpetual anxiety that when I do participate in any kind of social situation, my inevitable awkwardness will cause me to engage in the "wrong way" and anger / hurt / make people feel uncomfortable / embarrass myself. Ah the joys of fretting about everything I say and do.
But in the meantime! I've been:
( voraciously ripping my way through Campaign 1 of Critical Role )
( trying out various craft projects )
( working my way through Rebels )
( finishing Learning Curve )
( starting my next project )
Anyways. I also wanted to add. I think I sort of spent some time hesitating to come back into fandom just because -- well, it can be so exhausting, reading and commenting and reccing and the like. I even feel guilty saying that, because of course I know that commenting and participating in fandom isn't as exhausting as actually creating content, but it is a very different kind of energy, a more extroverted kind of energy, and that is exhausting for me. Worth it, rewarding, enjoyable -- but utterly exhausting. I want to be able to participate in fandom, to give back to content creators, but I'm also working very hard on myself right now (that OCD I mentioned earlier), and there's just so very much in life to do.
So I guess the point is, just like my exercises in therapy, I'm dipping my feet into the pool very slowly.
*What does OCD have to do with my participation in fandom? I'm incredibly anxious and fixated on my glasses, which makes reading difficult sometimes. That's all I'm going to say because I'm worried if I reread this later, it will be triggering for me. EDIT: Oh yeah, and also, the perpetual anxiety that when I do participate in any kind of social situation, my inevitable awkwardness will cause me to engage in the "wrong way" and anger / hurt / make people feel uncomfortable / embarrass myself. Ah the joys of fretting about everything I say and do.
