all my stumbling phrases

theputterer and the-strongest-stars tagged me in the awesome annual end-of-year Good Things meme! I’ve done this in 2018 & 2017 and always think it’s a fun exercise of both reflection and looking forward.

Oh boy, though, my first thought was, what even happened in 2019? (Looking at a calendar helped! It reminded me of a few things I forgot)

It’s been a Rough Year, friends. Between OCD and basically travelling almost every weekend in the latter half of 2019, I am very much ready for a new year and hopefully a new slate.

But this is about the positives!


Personal

• Played a lot of Dungeons and Dragons! I am now officially in two campaigns. This year, I endeavored to recruit more women to play, including the wonderful allatariel. I play both my beloved cleric, Maritsa (who I’ve been playing her years now) and my new character, Noara, a ranger elf with a red panda familiar (yeah, my DM let me do that for funsies, so I could get an animal sidekick but also still try out the Horizon Walker subclass).
• Speaking of red pandas, I accomplished my LIFE GOAL of meeting a red panda face-to-face. I got to feed Harriet at the Cincinnati Zoo for 30 minutes. She was adorable.
• Completed all my dental work and had a clean bill of dental health two cleanings in a row!
• Attended DC’s Around the World Embassy Day event, always fun
• Attended Star Wars night at a local library, where I got to participate in a short demo/lesson on how to fence with a lightsaber!
• Attended 50th Anniversary Celebration of Apollo 11 / landing on the moon (dude they projected the rocket on the Washington Monument and it looked so cool)
• Returned to the NY Ren Faire and upgraded my ren faire garb
• Celebrated at THREE friends’ weddings and got to catch up with old friends I hadn’t seen in awhile
• Ate ice cream at the Ben & Jerry’s Factory in Vermont
• Went to NYCC for the third year in a row. Got to wear 2 costumes this year: a 1920s flapper interpretation of an occamy and my Endor!Leia costume (repeat of 2017). Learned the True Pain of sewing. Created feather shawl for my occamy costume. Learned the True Pain of crafting.
• Celebrated one year anniversary with hubbie down where we got married: visited the museum we got married in and actually got a chance to enjoy the exhibits, went to our favorite brunch place down there, got to check out Fleet Week and tour an aircraft carrier and uh… I think it was a missile cruiser?
• Went up to PSU for a women’s hockey game for sister’s birthday (made embarrassing HAPPY BIRTHDAY sign for the cameras); also it was an absolutely wonderful fall drive on the way up there
• Got to see The Rise of Skywalker in IMAX at the Smithsonian Air & Space Center with the awesome allatariel ! (thank goodness we had each other to get through that movie lol) also got to reuse my Endor!Leia costume. I did my own braids for the first time ever! (usually my talented sister does them) They looked like braids done by a n00b, but I didn’t care because they were passable and I did them myself and that was a Big Thing for Perfectionist Me (to not just… say screw it and undo it and just. give up. but to just let them be as is)
• Worked hard at therapy and self care
• Got a Sleep Number bed and holy shit let me tell you. i can actually sleep now.
• OH! I almost forgot!!! Started playing Assassin’s Creed! I’ve only ever really played the LEGO Star Wars and Harry Potter video games so like. This was big for me.

Writing

• Finally finished Learning Curve. TBH I was a bit shocked that this was in fact the only fic I published in 2019. What a travesty.
• However! I have been writing
• allatariel & I sat down, overanalyzed You’ve Got Mail, and drafted up the outline for my in-universe AU, something I’ve been dreaming of starting for years. Have about 4300 words so far.
• Just under the wire, I did manage to start my NatGeo AU, which I’ve been dreaming of since my honeymoon in Nov 2018
• Started editing/revising my original young adult fantasy novel
• Poked a little at my epic fantasy pirate travel novel idea

Books

• I read exactly one book, Among the Red Stars, which I enjoyed. It’s about women fighter pilots in Russia in WW2. Inspired by real people.

Music

• Saw Panic at the Disco! in concert. I went along with my sister. Not like a huge fan, but they put on a pretty fun show!
• Saw Waitress on Broadway!! OH MY GOD. And Sara Bareilles was starring in it. Amazing. I freaking love her music (”How does she know / what a heart sounds like?” gahhh). She was so good, and the show was so good. I literally cried all the way through it just because I was so happy to be there, but also because of the content. Man.
• Saw Sara Bareilles again, in concert, in Philly. I love her so much.

Television

• Finished Critical Role Campaign 1! Oh man, what a ride. Gosh, I love that show. I really need to catch up in C2 now. I’ve started it but I’m only on episode 26 or 27.
• I’m not sure whether I finished The Clone Wars in 2018 or 2019. I think it was early 2019. This show was amazing and this was the character development that Anakin Skywalker needed. I love Ahsoka Tano. I cannot wait for the last season.
• Finished Rebels!!! AGAIN, what a ride!!! I still love Ahsoka Tano. I also love Hera Syndulla and Sabine Wren. Sabine’s Darksaber arc was fantastic.
• The Mandalorian OMG BABY YODA!!! Yes, I have succumbed to the adorableness of Baby Yoda. Most adorable SW character forever. But also just an enjoyable story in general. This, this is how you craft a story. still NOT over the darksaber omg.
• The Good Place is continuing to be good. Not as crazy about season 4, but I’m so glad they decided to limit the seasons.
• Got my sister to watch Rebels!! And then even a few episodes of The Clone Wars!!! Mwahaha >)
• Finally got around to watching The Great British Bake Off, what a sweet show!
• OMG I ALMOST FORGOT Anne With an E!!! Gosh what a wonderful wholesome delightful show. No I haven’t watched S3 yet because I am Lawful Good to a fault and just patiently waiting for it to come on Netflix

Film

• So, I woefully neglected to mention The Aeronauts in this post about my favorite movies in the 2010s and that was a Mistake. Because I really enjoyed this one
• But otherwise probably check out that list. Because I don’t go to the movies that often, actually, and anything I really loved from 2019 is most definitely listed there.

Did I meet my 2019 Goals?

Writing: Fandom

• Finish Learning Curve YES
• …and How to Lose a Spy in 10 Days Uh, no, not so much
• Begin and complete the in-canon universe You’ve Got Mail AU YES, it is begun but no it is not complete
• Try to knock out a few other projects on my 30+ SW ideas Umm, I did start / poke at a few things in addition to the YGM and NatGeo AUs, but nothing really “knocked out”
• Try my hand at creating more visual fan works (like moodboards/photosets, step 1, learn proper terminology) ahahahah, no.

Writing: Original

• Query more agents for my completed original novel YIKES, No. But I wasn’t anticipating that I’d decide to heavily edit/revise my manuscript.
• Actually get around to deciding which idea I want to work on next and work on it Yeah, sure, I decided. How nice of past!Liz to make this goal so reachable as “deciding” lol

Reading

• Be more supportive in helping my friend run Book Club so that it can actually meet more regularly HA, oops. Book Club died, but kind of in favor of being able to start a second D&D campaign. At least that’s the trade off I’m looking at. I had some OCD-related glasses issues this year that inhibited reading a lot.
• Try to read at least one book for myself outside of Book Club lol WELL the one book I read this year was not part of Book Club sooo

Goals for 2020


Writing

• I’m not going to make this a completion goal, but instead…
• …I’d like to just focus on creating a regular writing schedule/habit. Whatever the project, I just want to make sure I carve out significant time each week just to write. I don’t want to set a specific goal like “x hours a week” for now, but I want to make sure that I am writing each week.
• To achieve that (because what are goals without maps):
• If the words don’t immediately jump onto the page, then I’m going to try outlining or summarizing. I’m going to let go of overthinking how sentences are phrased, and just pretend I’m describing the story idea to a friend.
• That blank page is staring at me and I’m just going to fill it with words no matter what I might think of them!
• And I’m going to let everything else expand from there. And see how that works.
• Edit my original manuscript
• Query more agents re: original manuscript
• Look into the idea of perhaps forming or joining a writer’s group for original writing oh gosh that is so scary

Other

• Get back into reading
• Develop a routine for working out
• Eat healthier
• Continue focusing on therapy goals
• Get around to watching: Black Sails, Mad Max: Fury Road, Arrival
• Get better at responding to things in general

Hey, tagging anyone who reads this and wants to do it!

Happy New Year y’all!

Crossposted on tumblr

EDIT: is there ANY way to get cut tags to play nicely with bulleted lists??? jeez. why do i struggle with cut tags so much here.

I was supposed to address some comments for chapter 4 of Learning Curve tonight, but I got derailed reading about various creatures native to Yavin 4. They reminded me of the first Star Wars fanfic -- possibly the first fic ever? -- that I wrote. It was third grade, I had just seen Star Wars that year, and it was the first year we did a Writing Workshop unit. My friend Laura and I were obsessed with Star Wars, because of course we were, and I had been reading some young adult books about Jacen and Jaina. All I remember is that the twins had some sort of menagerie at their Jedi training school on Yavin 4 and they let some escape or something? I distinctly remember a snake that could turn invisible. Honestly I could just be remembering the book that inspired me. I wish I still had a copy of it! That'd be fun to see. I distinctly remember my Writing Workshop folder, it was bright yellow and I had written the names of all the SW characters on it in different font sizes and so forth. Ahh good times.

Now for a completely sudden transition (because I'm tired but really wanted to talk about this). Husband and I have been watching HBO's Chernobyl miniseries, which is as intense as you would expect and more so. It's very graphic (radiation sickness), and trigger warning for animal lovers on episode 4. However, it's very well done, and I think what's compelling about it is how it shows the sacrifice the citizens made willingly, heroically to do What Must Be Done to prevent the disaster from getting so much worse. It's pretty powerful. I've enjoyed listening to the podcast too (hosted by Peter Sagal!! of Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! ... so it's kind of weird hearing him talk about something serious, heh). Definitely have a happy chaser on hand for after.

EDIT: I want to clarify. It definitely also shows the lengths the soviet government went to cover things up, the disinformation, what they *didn't* tell the people... but there were people who had some idea that things were Bad and they were making a sacrifice, and that's what's moving. There are also people who have no idea what the dangers are and bad things happen to them and that is also very sad and moving. It's just all around a really interesting look at the people involved and the tragedy of everything and ANYWAYS. I'm tired. Maybe I'll be more coherent about this when the series is done. 

Jumping back to happy things: Aston Villa just got promoted to the English Premier League!!!!! We're back!!! I've been a Villa supporter since I studied abroad in England in college (Villa Park was the closest EPL stadium to us... incidentally, their colors matched my university colors so that was pretty convenient in terms of deciding what to wear to the game). (Sadly they lost the game we went to AND it rained.) Hubbie and I went to a British pub in DC that was showing the game; a bunch of other Villa supporters were there and it was so great being able to cheer with everyone! What a nailbiter though; Derby scored pretty late in the second half and they had a lot of momentum, but Steer made some great saves. [Also as a side note, Villa's crest is freaking awesome... there was a Buzzfeed article that came out around the time NBC started showing the EPL (Ted Lasso!!! the best, love that skit) that was like... what the names of the EPL teams would be if they were based on the crest and Villa was "karate lions chasing stars" which like. Come ON. that's so freaking cool.] Villa also was one of the original members of the EPL SO it was REALLY UPSETTING when they were relegated four years ago. BUT WE'RE BACK AND I CAN FINALLY WATCH THEM ON TV AGAIN!!! Hooray!

(well maybe just a little bit up)

Just popping in to respond to comments and so forth; thank you everyone for the well wishes!

I have not done my homework and scheduled that appointment with the opthamologist yet (I have anxieties about going to the doctor, especially new ones, but that's not an excuse). 

I do feel like the particular issue I was having is getting better, but I'm not sure if it's just a psychological thing, or if I just got used to seeing text the way that I'm seeing it, or what. For all I know, the words have looked like this for awhile, and I'm only noticing it now because new glasses.

I've been popping on tumblr now and then, but I'm still trying to keep my time on screens to a minimum. So still on that pseudo-hiatus for now, but you may see me tentatively bumbling around here and there.

I've decided to try to take up knitting again.

I started back in college and somewhere along the way lost the habit. I think it took me five years to finish my last project, what I thought at the time was a chunky scarf (but I'll come back to that). 

For Christmas 2017, I asked for some beginner knitting tutorial packages (and also some Star Wars crochet projects, which I know, totally different, but that's another crafty thing I want to get into, too). Unfortunately 2018 was too busy for me to sit down and attempt to relearn the basics, but last night, I finally dusted off my presents and dived into it.

It's been sorta frustrating.

It's hard knowing this is a thing I used to be able to do, but I'm also struggling because (a) this tutorial package involves an actually(?) chunky yarn and uses 15 mm needles, and while I understand that are much larger needles out there, they feel absolutely enormous to me (and supposedly larger needles are supposed to be easier for beginners? ha!); and (b) I never did learn how to do this whole gauge swatch thing. Apparently I knit way too tightly. HA, this is not really surprising at all, but it does make for some difficulties in adjusting my gauge when I'm also out of my element using what might as well be the same size as the complementary miniature baseball bats we got at the Louisville slugger factory. I just can't seem to loosen up! Except, of course, when it comes to my edges, which end up with these gaping loops. I don't remember struggling this much in college! Anyways.

Also this is my first attempt ever at making a hat -- all I ever did before were scarves, which are wonderfully, delightfully easy. And also I love wearing scarves.

I've given up I'm taking a break for tonight, but I want to try again fresh tomorrow. 

...it's been very quiet, I hope everyone is enjoying their holiday and time with family! (and I also hope everyone who needs a little alone time can squeeze some in! family can be fun but also overwhelming) (also maybe everyone is hurrying to finish their secret santa gifts? who knows!)

Slowly but surely, I am making my way through the food travel AU! As I mentioned in my last goals post, I read them before (more like a speed-read), but am now going back and commenting. Four down, five to go! (Because I'm not counting my own obviously) I can appreciate them much better when I'm not trying to take notes to prepare for writing my own chapter, ha. Seriously some very sweet moments in there, between the food & the fluff! 

(Also, yes, I know, no goals post last Sunday -- it's the holidays, consider this a sort of goals post, lite edition)

I prepped an album for some of the places mentioned in At the Confluence of History and Hope (these are my personal photos, so! there's that). I've written a plan for some visual reference posts I plan on posting to tumblr (photo sets with excerpts; these will include photos of food) but I've been too busy with family stuff to move further than that.

Husband and I went to see On the Basis of Sex last night and it was amazing! Great story, great writing, and of course Felicity was fantastic. Especially enjoyed the line, "...could topple the whole damn system of discrimination..." because, well, you know I couldn't help but think of a certain other line...

Also went to see the Zoo Lights tonight and they were very beautiful! I kind of want to incorporate that setting into a fic somehow. (The bright, multi-colored lights seem to float on their own in the dark sky... and everyone on the ground is weirdly silhouetted, you can barely make out a face, sometimes a person is barely more than a shadow, barely noticed until you run into them!) Maybe an alien world? Some beautiful alien bio-luminescence? Oooh, maybe the caves where Jyn and Lyra's rebel cell resides in my You've Got Mail in-universe AU? Hmmmm will have to ponder!